A Different Kind of Tail

You know, I've tried to be so hyper vigilant about the dogs in light of all our living arrangement changes, that I haven't really addressed or worried very much about the rest of the creatures in the house.  And it turns out that the dogs are mostly fine.  I suppose maybe I should give myself some credit in that it might be that they made a smooth transition because I was so concerned about them, but regardless of why it is, they have adapted well.  At first, it was clear Sirius was unhappy losing Baby H as a companion and would stick to him like glue when he came over to visit.  But he's still a happy, go-lucky dog who loves life and maybe he clings to me a little more than before (not always convenient when trying to watch hockey), but he's fine.

But while I was breathing a sigh of relief that this transition went far better than I worried it would, it was another furry member of the family who appears to be a little insecure at the moment, and that - much to my shock - is Tum Tum.

Therefore, this is a post about dog people who have cats, and how the two are vastly different.  Which of course is why I always figured you have your "dog people", which is squarely the camp I fall into and you have your "cat fanciers" like my mother-in-law.  But stop and think about it - do you know anyone who is truly both?  I mean, don't get me wrong, if it's a mammal on four legs with fur, I probably feel affection towards it.  But I can't tell you honestly that I get cats.  Cats are weird man.  They think differently than dogs.  And they are a series of contradictions: they love you, but are aloof.  They want to cuddle occasionally, but want to be left alone a lot of the time.  And they're going to control that schedule.  They want freedom, but want that fallback of a secure and safe home (most of them).  They think it's enough that they do love you, they feel no obligation to show it, whereas dogs are all about the love.  They give it freely, they are always ready to take it, and they hardly ever want to be away from their bonded humans.  Having a cat is like trying to have a relationship with a really difficult individual.  You try and please them, but always come up just a little bit wanting.  And they always want you to know you're just a bit beneath them.  It's mentally exhausting. 

Yet, ironically perhaps, I have always had at least one cat in the house.  I think the cats I've had for the most part bucked the trend and were more dog-like in their behavior (Ana, who was my cat when I got married and had our first child was a notable exception - she loved me very deeply, but boy she hated my husband and tortured him as only a cat can do).  Why I've had a cat in the mix always varied depending upon the cat as well.  But Tum Tum we inherited.  She was my oldest daughter's cat, and it was clear that my eldest would have been a "cat person".  She was cat-like herself in many ways.  So Tum Tum is all cat.  Up to and including having proved out the theory that they have nine lives.  She's had more adventures and mis-adventures that she's survived to reach the age of 13 than most humans could withstand, that's for certain, and she's only just beginning to show a few signs of aging.

I have no doubt that Tum Tum loves me.  In a sedate kind of a way.  Like a favorite aunt.  She LOVED my daughter.  She will never love anyone like that again.  But she's come to accept me and she allows me to take care of her; best way I can put it.  And so that's how I even knew she was feeling a little off.  She's too affectionate.

For about a week now she's been following me around the house.  She sits outside my bath, she takes advantage of anytime the dogs are off the bed to get on it with me.  She hangs in my office all day.  And she looks up at me with a sort of pleading, pay attention to me look all the time and wants to be fawned over.  That's so not Tum Tum!

On the other hand, she's going out of her way to stir up conflict with the dogs.  She'll get in their way and hiss at them.  Doesn't matter what they're doing or how they try and avoid her - she'll find a way to pretend they're horrible beasts come to attack her if she doesn't kill them first.

Somehow she's managing to do both behaviors at the same time right now.

My working theory is that, after initially relishing in the challenge of having another cat in the house to dominate, she's feeling insecure.   It's been a month.  Molly, the mother-in-law's elusive black cat, is not accepting the house rules, which are that Tum Tum is Queen and all others must show fealty.  She has never - and I do mean never - come up against that before.

Having concluded she's having a little self esteem issue, but being firmly in the dog person camp, I am not sure what to do to reassure her she's still top dog in the house.  Cat people: help me out here!