Play. Off.

Hello Hooman,

I want to right to u today to ask: what is the big deal about sports?  I know u watch a lot of it on the big motion box.  I can see things moving around on there that occasionally make me want to bark at them, but I don't get it.  Mommy says they are games, but I know what a game is, and she does not play this one right.  She just sits in a rocking chair and rocks and is very tense.  Sometimes she yells.  Happy yells.  Mad yells.  Hard to tell what it will be.  Maybe that is the game.  Am I supposed to guess what kind of yell she will make at the motion box?  Well, I do not like that game if that is it.

And games are supposed to make u happy, right?  Games make me happy.  Catch.  Run.  Fetch.  Those are good games.  Mommy was not happy last night.  I had to go sit with her the rest of the night because she was sad.  I was a good dog.  Mommy said so.

Sometimes sports is good because there will be food involved, and I can get some.  And when it is winter, there is nothing much else to do, so that is all fine with me and my brother and sister.

And sometimes Mommy will give us presents before the game to try and keep us busy while she makes her funny sounds.  But, silly mommy!  That does not work because she is supposed to pay attention to me when I have new things and watch how cute I am.

But now these games are called "playoffs".  I am a smart dog.  I figured out what that word means.  It means that play is off while the motion box is on.  Mommy gets very tense, so I try to distract her and bring her toys to toss to me.  She will sometimes, but she doesn't take her attention off the motion box, so it is not much fun.  Rooney will sometimes bark at her to be let outside while the little men in the motion box are moving.  Mommy does not like that so I don't try it, and Geddy told me that is not how to handle things long ago.  Geddy thinks sports is wonderful because we are all together.  He likes to be with our hoomans laying on the couch.  He explained that sports is good cuddle time.  I do not like cuddles as much.  I like play.  Sports is not good for play.  Which I have been told is "i ron knee", but I do not know what that means.

But even Geddy picked up on the tension during the play off last night, and he took my favorite chewy bone and laid at Mommy's feet and chewed on it.  I had to wait for him to look away to get it back from him.  Rooney just slept.  She thinks the best way to deal with playoffs is just to sleep until they are over.

Geddy tells me the playoffs last a long time.  He said the last two years Mommy watched them all the way into summer!  Summer is good play time.  This makes me sad.  But Mommy says her team (they are called the Pen Quins are facing e-lim-enation, which I figured is a bad thing for Mommy, but she has me, and I will comfort her, and then she will have more time for play on.

But I do look forward to your responses to help me understand why you silly people like sports so much when you could play catch instead.

Yours truly,

Sirius Bark