The Sounds of Silence...Sort of

Here that?  No?  Nothing?  Yes, that's right!  And isn't it delightful?

I broke down and did the one thing I thought I'd never do...I bought anti-bark collars.  No!  Not shock collars - that I will NEVER do, but spray collars that spritz them with a citrus spray.  And, while not entirely the be all, end all of problem solvers, it's a step in the right direction.

A friend of mine who has a high spirited young Golden encouraged me to go this route.  I still resisted for a while, but as the weather began to give us some good days along with sleeting snow, I began to really weigh my commitment to trying not to traumatize them versus having to keep them imprisoned inside on a beautiful spring day.  So I finally decided to go for it.  Think of it a little like ankle monitors for humans - I'm releasing them from the prison of the house, but they're still on probation.

Once I gutted up and made the decision, what one to buy was the next trick.  I rely on reviews heavily, but turns out you have to be careful with reviews - not all of them are legit.  This was pointed out by a consumer on one posting for a collar I was considering.  He pointed out that a number of the "positive" reviews were all written the same way - even using the same exact sentences in places.  His review was far less positive.  But even where I thought the reviewers were honest consumers, there was always a wide range from "it's a miracle" to "it's complete garbage".  That's the problem with dog products in general - my dog differs in breed characteristic and individual personality from yours.  What works for you might not for me.  And what works for one of my dogs might not do the trick times three.

And then that was the other thing...times three.  My friend's collar was about $90.00.  Youch!  When you consider I'd be buying them in bulk, that wasn't too appealing of a price point.  I needed to land on something on a more mid-range.  My go-to, Amazon, was the site with the fake reviews.  Chewy.com was a jumble of choices that, for some reason, I couldn't settle on, and since I'm not an experienced Chewy.com user, I wasn't sure on the price points.  It occurs to me that we as modern consumers are almost faced with too many choices, and that makes a decisive choice a challenge, particularly when you can't touch it and feel it first.  But finally, I landed on Walmart and picked a $30 collar and ordered two.  And, yes, I have three dogs.

Rooney modeling her new accessory

When the two came, my daughter looked at me somewhat quizzically.  I explained that I had ordered them for the boys, but didn't figure Rooney needed one (she's such a sweet thing).  Her look changed to skepticism and she told me that Rooney was the instigator more than I seemed to realize.

Yeah...well...I have three collars now.  And there are a few morals to the story.  One is never under estimate the voice of a woman.  Because once the two males were being spritzed when they barked, I realized how right my daughter was - Rooney is definitely a mouthy one.  She was just being over powered by the deep bravado bark of the larger Sirius who was probably barking half the time
because she started it.

Next, however, is that you get what you pay for.  I do now realize why there is such a vast disparity in price.  The upside is, while they don't love them, they don't mind them.  They are bulky, but the fit adjusts, and after a while, they forget about them until they get a spritz, which doesn't harm them - my big worry - and actually smells pretty good.  But, on the flip side, the collars I bought run out of spray quickly.  Geddy's is missing the little slide door that holds the battery in place - where the battery is, no one can say.  I had to replace it and cover it with Steelers duct tape.  Classy.  And Rooney's came off the very first time I put it on.  I was walking the yard with a flashlight trying to beat the rain to find it.  Turns out, it wasn't far from the front door, which was the last place I looked.

But, when they're working, they work.  For the most part.  Meaning, if egged on by some event, like an alien in the next yard that looks a whole lot like a deer, or - oh my God! - people in that yard, they'll spray themselves silly and bark anyway.  So they still can't be out without a measure of supervision.  But, in the grand scheme of things, where the sun is shining, and the birds are fluttering around, and the cars are driving by, they are no longer barking.  They can enjoy some of the spring weather now that it's finally gaining ground on winter, we can rest a bit easier that Shaler's finest isn't going to make a repeat visit, and our complaining neighbor - whoever he or she may be - is hopefully resting a little easier.

Freedom!