Weighing the Options

Going deeper into the whole dogs-kids thing, last week's post was not without a bit of controversy off-blog.  I received some comments on Facebook and in other settings that let me know not everyone agrees with my point of view.  Let me just say this:  you do you.  I won't judge.  With one exception, which I'll get to.  I know I come across as opinionated and overly "pro-dog" because I am.  But I'm not preaching that you have to raise a child with a dog, or that bad things will happen if you don't.  I'm saying that this is how I feel on the subject.  And if you're in the situation where you're considering maybe yes, maybe no, then just maybe I can provide you with some insight based on my experiences.  And hope they're entertaining along the way.

So that all said, I do try to be balanced, and here are some things to think about in the process based on my experiences as a pet owner and a mom that are not all butterflies and roses:

I had a reputation years ago (not sure I still do - I'm more laissez-faire about a great many things I once thought were of the utmost importance) of being a compulsive cleaner.  My comeback always was, "I have to work twice as hard to keep my house half as clean."  While I think my obsessive compulsive desire to make sure I was mopping the kitchen floor all the time instead of just chilling out and reading my kids a bedtime story was not healthy on so, so many levels, I do actually still believe that sentiment.  If I didn't have pets I would have a pretty stellar looking house; from a cleanliness perspective anyway.

Instead what I'm constantly battling is dog hair (collies, 'nuff said), dirt being tracked in, leaves everywhere (collies...they get caught in their fur this time of the year), and of course they stir up more dust.  You can tell the rooms the dogs don't go in just by looking, like the dining room, because I rarely need to dust.  The rooms where they hang out all the time, like my bedroom and my office where I have all my knick knacky sports stuff that's a horror to dust, well...let's just say I'm not having the Queen over for tea anytime soon.  Of course, actually I could if we didn't show her the whole house - because that dining room looks pretty dang good.

So, there is that.  Because the last thing you want is to turn around and find your grandson sticking a handful of hair he grabbed off the floor in his mouth.  (I'm not saying this happened in so many words...I'm just saying it's not what you want to have happen.)

And, yes, there is the need to be vigilant.  Collies are wonderful with people.  They forgive us our trespasses much better than we forgive them in one another.  But they are creatures that feel pain, can startle, can just have a bad day, or be overly exuberant at inopportune times (like 3:09 on a Monday morning).  So I don't - none of us do - ever leave the baby unattended with a dog.   That's for both the baby and the dog.

So, cards on the table, this is something to think about and ask yourself:  can you do that?  Always be there to watch out for what babies will naturally put a dog through.  And vice versa.  And if you say yes, then can you do that with just any dog?  I carry a scar on my right wrist that, while it's gradually being taken over by the signs of my times, you can still just make out from where my family dog, Hans the dachshund, took exception finally to being dressed up, made to stand on two legs and dance with me when I was five.  And while I absolutely deserved that bite and probably much worse, there are some breeds that probably would have let me abuse them in such undignified fashion all night long instead of however long that poor fellow took it.  Which is not my way of inviting you to buy a loving, calm teddy bear of a dog and set your kid loose on it.  It's more a cautionary tale of how kids are kids, and they'll do things they shouldn't without knowing they shouldn't.  I played dress up all the time, why wouldn't Hans want to with me?  It seemed absolutely unassailable logic to me at the time.  And there we were - on a lazy afternoon when my parents weren't home, and the babysitter was probably talking to her boyfriend (phones were tied to one place after all in those days), and well...that's what I'm talking about...

Not sure why Chappy had a blanket on walking around
the house, but...makes me think he would have played
dress up with me, no problems!

Now, let me just stop right here and say:  if you already have a dog, and now you're about to have a child, I am in NO way saying get rid of that dog.  The last of the gang of eight we rescued back in Texas, Chappy, who was a big, lovable "we don't know what all exactly" breed who was on a kill order (literally less than 24 hours from being put down) because he had been taken back to the shelter not once, but twice, by families who had new babies and decided they couldn't keep him.  He was the sweetest, most loving dog and kindest companion to my daughter than I could have ever hoped for.  And had I not opened an email someone forwarded to me, he would have been destroyed because not one, but two families, thought he was too big and boisterous to be in a house with children.  Those people I do cast some judgment down on.  Because a) there are ways to work with and train dogs first of all, even if Chappy had been overly boisterous, which I don't know that he was based on our experience with him and b) if you just can't make it work, there are better ways to re-home a dog than dump it at a kill shelter.

Is it all that hard, caring for dogs and kids together?  Well, obviously I know no other way of doing it.  I had four dogs already when I had my first baby.  But, I will tell you this much:  for anything and everything I've ever had a dog do, they're the easier of the two things to raise.

At the end of the day, and this post, whatever is best and right for a family's situation is what a family has to decide to do.  But, I'll tell you that, of the very many things I would do differently as a parent, having dogs around is not one of them.